Video 15

Vedic Christianity, Class 15 · Practice of the Presence of God · Swami Chidbrahmananda

[Music] do you worship God as mother or father or I love people yeah well I'll be my favorite this is my favorite mother song [Music] foreign [Music] a stranger my child is yours [Music] you see my child no it's not that you won't face Danger [Music] ous always come but they don't last forever will see they pass away [Music] your own one is a stranger my child you [Music] the world is yours [Music] foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] never fear whenever you are in distress just [Music] learn to make the world your own it's a stranger [Music] [Music] give me strength [Music] everything finding it because foreign [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] oh Father this is my everything away in the heart it's all about and finding you I has on you oh God oh boy foreign that was a little messy all of them all right so we're on the sixth letter right I think so it's been so long since we've done a class together what's that this is the 15th class all right well uh we'll keep going with this on Thursday nights probably next Thursday night there won't be a class but the week from next Thursday night but you're going to have to keep track of it it's going to be coming at you from Colorado so let me uh let me see if I can get a room number for us real quick here on Zoom I'm sure I've got zoom on here oh gosh all right we'll have to talk about it after class because it is blocking me from getting in there tonight it's that two two system check-in you know where they send a message to your phone that you left back in your room all right so books all right so as a reminder we're going through uh the the writings of a brother Lawrence who I is a great devotee of the Divine and uh deeply in love with God and has made a practice of keeping himself aware of the presence of God at every moment and not forgetting for a Split Second the presence of divine love the presence of divine intelligence and Grace that fills everything around us when one becomes aware of of those things and he was saying here of course the last paragraph from last week he said I do not say therefore that we must put any violent constraint upon ourselves so he's saying not not to do anything overwhelmingly uh you know violent to yourself in order to be aware of the presence of God that this is a gentle practice a constant practice that when you find your mind wandering from the awareness of the Divine during the day you just gently bring it back no worries he says that he never chastised himself he never went on and you know worked out why did I forget how could I forget I'm such an idiot you know that's the violence he's saying is not necessary but that we just constantly bring ourselves back to the Divine and actually he says no we must serve God in a holy Freedom we must do our business Faithfully without trouble or disquiet recalling our mind to God mildly and with Tranquility as often as we find it wandering from him so this notion of God you know it's it's going to be different for different people usually in the beginning when we start a practice like this God is a third party somewhere far away you know some man in the sky some Michelangelo painting you know reaching his finger down trying to touch our rude little selves but that and and that's fine you know initially this conversation with god starts that way it starts with talking to God it starts with complaining to God it starts with just thinking about the Divine at all times and that's fine where it's going to go though because God always is more intimate than our most intimate thought is it will move inside of you and the words will go away and it just becomes this constant play where your prayer becomes what you do your prayer becomes what you think your prayer becomes what you are and it's all shared the heart is always opened to the divine and that when you come into Times where you feel like you need more of a conversation or more of a discussion that that you can use words but the words at that level of intimacy are not necessary you know that that you sit there and you just say Ma look see the heart and see what's in there and that that presence comes to the front it becomes sorry I think that song really put me into space so that that that that that opening of the heart that intimacy that playing with the divine becomes wordless becomes silent you know I always draw that illusion of that day I went to the MoMA in New York City and saw that old couple I mentioned that probably every class but just sitting there across the table from each other in a very loud cafeteria saying nothing they must have been in their 90s I mean they were they were you know so old and so sweet looking and they both had their hand on the table sitting across from each other and just a finger was touching you each other across the table and it was wordless and I was sitting there with my friend sushil and I was just thinking to myself as I saw that you know out of the corner of my eye behind him and I just thought how beautiful that is you know of course I made up the whole story but that's the world right that's the world we live in we've it's all made up for us anyway we create our own world but I saw them sitting there and I just thought what is it to be in relationship with somebody for 50 60 70 years possibly even all the stories have been said you know all of the jokes have been made you know each other so well there's you know each other's moods you know how each other is doing there's no longer a necessity for doing any of the getting to know each other now just being in the presence of each other is all that's necessary you know no conversation so you can sit there in that in that loud cacophony of sounds and a Moma cafeteria and share a moment more intimate than anyone around you could even be aware of without any show without any demonstration without any any particular just that sweet that sweet togetherness and this is what brother Lawrence is trying to convey to us that we are in love with love that the nature of God is love the nature of God is that deepest wisdom the nature of God is our very existence and to move about this world knowing that it's the play of the Beloved knowing that it's the play of the Divine and playing accordingly living your life accordingly in that presence soaking like a rascola in the syrup you know those Indian sweets just soaked in syrup you know you pick them up you can squeeze that syrup out of them and that's what it is to be a devotee of the Divine you know somebody can just squeeze that love right out of you just pull you out of that little syrup bowl and just give you a hug and it just comes out and we see that some of the great swamis that have come through this place he goes on he says it is however necessary to put our whole trust in God now that's a beautiful thing here he says put your whole trust in God laying aside all other cares and even some particular forms of devotion though very good in themselves yet such as one often engages in unreasonably because they are these devotions are only for a means to attain the end so he's saying there be sure that the practice doesn't become the point you know that's that's how you become a you know that Saturday Night Live church lady do you remember that's when the practice becomes more important than the relationship right when you start becoming proud of the work that you're doing to to dance with love you know and you somehow lose that love you see you you become that that haughty religious person you know who's looking around to see who's sitting where on Sunday morning is anybody breaking any rules you know that I can deliciously attack so not to so to put away those things keep them in the back seat but work on this trust of God this trust of God is of utmost importance it's that it's the root of everything that faith in God and what is this Faith this faith is that God is enough the faith is that this love is true enough the faith is that God's love is complete there's nothing about you that is unacceptable to the Divine nothing there's nothing in you that God cannot deal with that God demands an end to even we see that in the life of garish gosh you know that that playwright famous and wonderful and respectful as he is in our memory at the time he was an alcoholic and he would show up at the Dakshin ishwar Temple you know that wreaking of alcohol dropping his bottle in the cab on the way in to see his to see his teacher his Guru ramakrishna and it was always so fascinating to me that ramakrishna never told him to quit drinking never told him that he needed to you know that he needed to stop behave never threw him out even when the devotees rose up and said why are you letting this guy in here he's disrupting everything he's disrespectful to you he stinks like alcohol and ramakrishna defends him and says you know nothing you cannot see anything of what God sees in him this man's faith you know this man's love for the Divine because look he gets drunk and where does he come he comes to the temple you know where does he go and this is that kind of trust that brother Lawrence is talking about it's like we should never forget the thought of God because of our unworthiness or because of our lack of accomplishment or because of our wrong idea of who we are because God sees in you the image of herself or himself that he they she put there at your birth and that is the love that's reflected he sees you in your realization even if you don't he sees you in your perfection even if you can't that is love that's the nature of love and that's the nature of the presence of God is to have that constant confidence within ourselves of this unending presence this beautiful notion of love that is the source and motivating force in everything that moves in this universe everything that changes he says that we must so when by this exercise of the presence of God we are with him who is our end it is then useless to return to the means but we may continue with him our Commerce of Love persevering in his holy presence one while one while by an act of Praise of adoration or of Desire one while by an act of resignation or Thanksgiving and in all the ways which our spirit can invent well that's one of my favorite things right there to remind you that you have the freedom to invent in this relationship with the Divine you don't have to worship God like anybody else worships God you don't have to think of God in the same way as anybody else thinks of God you and God have been together your whole life you know that that wonderful I sound like a broken record sometimes with my examples but that wonderful memory of Rabia in her poem who complains that she has called out to God for her whole life and he never answered and she was sitting there one day wondering why has he not answered why can he not hear me and she thought to herself maybe I've used the wrong name and so she says in her poem that she she made up a name for God and then the last line of the poem is and that has made all the difference and so I encourage you you know to be inventive in how you remember God and how you think of God you know be inventive for the Theta of the things you put in your day to remind you about the divine you know you can be the person who puts the rubber band on there there was a woman in an accounting office that I worked in decades ago who was trying to quit smoking and so anytime the thought of smoking came she pulled this rubber band way out just snapped her wrist with it to kind of try and divert her thoughts from going in that direction so you can get that way although that might fall under the category of violent who knows but you know you can you can you can do all kinds of little things leave little notes little names of God you know in front of the toaster in front of the microwave on the knob of the TV set taped on the back of your phone on the background of your phone whatever it is just things that are helpful for you especially in the beginning of this practice you know remember it took him 15 years of continual effort before he said that he reached that point where he could not forget the presence of God and not just as a thought that he began to experience the presence of God and that the subtle movements of God became aware became apparent to him within because it's God who breathes in you you know it's one of my favorite things about this idea of the Garden of Eden that we've talked about in the past and that how in vedanta it says the world is created new every moment you know that that it wasn't created long ago that it's actually recreated every moment and so when I went through that study of the the story of the Garden of Eden and the Christian scripture and imagined it being a statement about our constant condition you know about that it's replayed every moment that we're eating that Apple every moment you know and exerting our will and going against the Divine will and and exerting our kingship within this realm of our ego and leaving him outside but then it goes even further I took it even farther back and thought what about the creation of of us when God created us you know if it's if that happens every moment if the world is created a moment I'm created every moment and When God says he breathed the breath of life into the human form you know in the case of Adam and Eve when he breathed the life into their nostrils I thought oh my God wait that's incredible every time that I take an inhalation that is my creation that is God breathing the breath of life into my nostrils and creating me a new brand new every moment and the beauty of that is that that that helps us to to do this task of getting rid of the idea of the past the story that defines the present for us right because God is the I am you know is it not remember that God is this present moment and we can't see this present moment because we have our past defining it all the time or we have our hopes for the future distracting us from it all the time but God is here God is this moment the existence that you experience in this moment is God suchitananda he's that experience of that being that is-ness that you are that you have any time you talk about yourself you say the name of God first right I'm hungry who's hungry I am is hungry you know I'm tired who's tired I am is tired right and did not God say that's his name in the Old Testament of the Christian scriptures so every time you describe something about yourself you use the name of God we should become aware of this this is what brother Lawrence is telling us be aware of the obvious wake up again to the newness to the richness of this experience of the Divine don't let yourself be lulled to sleep by assuming anything about this profound intense amazing experience of being of existence walk in the thrill of that remember the thrill of that in all the ways which your spirit can invent and all the ways you can think of doing that he not discouraged by the repugnance which you may find in it from your nature it's a nice way of saying it don't be discouraged by your repugnance you know anytime in the Christian scriptures the Christians always Define Mankind by his post-fall right in vedanta we talk about Mankind womankind us kind we talk about us kind before the fall that our nature is is pure that we are Divine that we are of God that we are in fact the Divine itself but when when the Christians talk about it they Define themselves Post Falls so when they use those harsh words like don't be discouraged by your repugnance they're talking about the ego self and it's not a bad thing to think that way about the ego self because the ego self is what has deprived you of joy it what it's what has deprived you of seeing and experiencing love in a constant flow like this it's the ego that is the veil the scriptures say ramakrishna says it is the ego that is the veil that prevents you from seeing the Divine In This Moment it's what has ceased or prevented you from being realized from enjoying your realization and so we should have that attitude about our ego self we should have that idea of our ego self that it is repugnant because one day we'll feel that way about it when we've stopped identifying with it right now we don't like to call it that because we we think we're that like I am that ego I don't like to be called repugnant thank you but but in fact you're not but your ego is repugnant you are ever free ever Blissful ever divine but be not discouraged by the repugnance which you may find in it from your nature you must do yourself violence at the first one often at first one often thinks it is lost time but you must go on you must resolve to persevere in it even to death notwithstanding all the difficulties that may occur I recommend myself to the prayers of your holy society and yours in particular I am in our Lord yours brother Lawrence so that's the end of that letter and he's just telling you don't be discouraged don't give up you know 15 years he gives two times in there he says that at 15 years he had become constantly aware of God so it might take you 15 years don't be discouraged give yourself 15 years that 15 years is going to pass anyway whether you work on it or not so don't see it as a long time you know I'm at that age where I'm constantly laughing about my age constantly constantly being amazed I have a new one to share if I was walking in the Garden of the Gods this park outside of Colorado Springs and I had been there before I lived I went to like third grade third and fourth grade with Mrs Manning and Mrs Bouchard in uh at Queen Palmer Elementary School I went to school there and we used to go on Sunday afternoons and play in The Garden of the Gods and so I was sitting there trying to think of when the last time that I was there and oh my God it was 50 years ago it was the first time in my life that I could say to myself that I remembered something that happened 50 years ago and I just had to stop of course I was walking with my friend Greg and just started laughing I was like oh my God if it wasn't for some semblance of spiritual life this thought would have destroyed me you know 50 years so don't be discouraged by these things that you've mistaken for your nature he's saying don't be discouraged by this ego self by 50 years don't be discouraged by the effort it's taking because that time is going to pass anyway and if it hasn't been done until now so what now is the time that's the beauty of being recreated every moment that's the beauty of being able to set aside your history that's the beauty of of of being in the now being present in God because you are always new always forgiven always free always able to be what you are that you don't have to be defined by the past or by your desires for the future be present that's where God is letter number seven oh my this is interesting have you ever started a letter with this sentence I pity you much and see where he's going with this I pity you much it will be of great importance if you can leave the care of your Affairs to somebody and spend the reminder the remainder of your life only in worshiping God he requires no great matters of us a little remembrance of him from time to time a little adoration sometimes to pray for his grace sometimes to offer him your sufferings sometimes to return to him thanks for the favors he's given you and still gives you in the midst of your troubles and to console yourself with him as often as you can so he's talking to somebody like us just starting out you know I pity you you've got 15 years ahead of you and you don't get the joys that I've had you know he he mentions that the two times that he mentions that I mentioned just a few minutes ago is the 15 years that was until he was able to master the constant thought of the presence of God and then he says later another number 30 years and at 30 years do anybody remember what's happened at 30 years exactly yes he has an inner joy that is so deep and so profound that he has to disguise it so that people don't think he's nuts he walks around giggling all the time in the presence his God his relationship with God has become so deep and so fun that it's literally literally laughing and giggling and being overwhelmed with happiness with overwhelmed with joy and so you know from that perspective he's looking at us he's like there's and he genuinely feels it you know he feels this pity for us because he sees the struggling and he knows the potential in you you know he looks at you and sees that you can't get over your ego you can't get past your faults you can't get past your shortcomings he sees that and he feels that pity that sorry that sorry of sorrowfulness for you it's like if I could give it to you I would if I could bring you here for a moment I would do it you know and he can't but he's saying you know just do what you can do that's it do what you can do and move forward just keep going forward we have that wonderful story in the scriptures just go forward don't stop at the little things you know sometimes we because we're so starved for any of this kind of understanding of the Divine or of God that a lot of times in the beginning you'll get a little zap of something you know you'll have a great meditation and and then you'll go looking for it you know every other meditation after that and and you might find it it might become a regular thing don't be content with that don't stop there don't ever let your practice become routine become boring to you become something that you just have to do every morning or every night or every afternoon keep it alive keep it inventive keep it keep it inspiring always come to the heart when you sit before God you know when you go into the shrine or when you go to your chair or wherever it is that you do your practice you should always remember at that moment when you're sitting down that this could be the day where you finally let go of the ego and see your beloved for the first of many many many many times that this is the potential because this moment they say that that our realization is the only thing that doesn't have a cause it's the only effect with no cause and so it can happen you may not have to wait 15 years it may be that you did 15 years in your last life and now you've only got three more days but always sit with that anticipation don't get rusty don't get bored don't get wrote in your effort always keep the heart exercised open and alive in this quest for God so we give them a little adoration and sometimes pray for grace and sometimes to offer him your suffering lift up your heart to him sometimes even at your meals and when you are in company the least little remembrance will always be acceptable to him you need not cry very loud he is nearer to us than we are aware of right what does the master say he says two things in there he says God is closer to them what body part anybody know God is closer to you than your nope nope your neck I don't know why he chose the neck but he said God is closer to you than your neck okay that's pretty close and then what was the animal or the the insect he says God is so close that he can hear the anklets on an ant that's how close God is and so know that intimacy those times when God seems far away God hasn't gone anywhere God has not left you you know God God you have turned to your eyes away you've paid attention to something else but God is just as close as ever you don't have to go begging him to come back and think that something you need to do to bring him back it's not him we're bringing back it's ourselves that we're bringing back to reminding reminding ourselves that we're in that that beautiful presence that we're in that space and to not uh to not get into this strange thing that sometimes happens when we when we take the Divine which in in the highest reality isn't personal you know isn't isn't individual because God is all God is everything he's you me everything there's nothing that is not divine in that form he's not personal so when he becomes personal for us a lot of times the first thing we make the mistake of doing is slapping our idea of Personality onto him or her or that and so God can get angry and God can get fussed and God can pout and you know all that stuff and it's tempting to do that and that's fine to do that but you can't take that seriously you can't think that God has gone away and isn't going to come back or that you are So Unworthy he's never going to see you again you can't go there because it's untrue you couldn't exist if God had gone anywhere right God is suchita under existence knowledge and Bliss existence knowledge and love so your existence is your proof we've talked about that many times but to remind you that God is present because you're present if God went you would go you would you would pop out like a bubble so lift up your heart to him sometimes even at your meals you know at all times because this relationship is internal God and you what you think is you exist within yourself you know and that conversation happens within yourself that encouragement happens within yourself the inspiration happens within yourself and this lifting your heart to God what is that that's just allowing consciously allowing awareness to enter the deepest parts of you to hold nothing back don't hide anything don't protect yourself in any way lift your heart to God and let the Divine see everything in there all of it all of it because she was there when you did it she was present through every bit of it and she's still present she has not left you she has not ceased your existence so lift up your heart to God in that confidence in that faith in that knowing that love that God doesn't go away God doesn't give up God doesn't end the relationship that's for us to do all right it is not necessary for being with God to be always at church we may make an oratory of our heart wherein to retire from time to time to converse with him in meekness humility and love everyone is capable of such familiar conversation with god some more and some less he knows what we can do let us begin then perhaps he expects but one generous resolution on our part have courage we have but little time to live you are near 64. ah somebody older you are near 64 and I'm almost 80. let us live and die with God sufferings will be sweet and pleasant to us while we are with him and the greatest Pleasures will be without him a cruel punishment to us may he be blessed for all amen so he's saying there you know just give your time to the Divine he maybe is just expecting one generous resolve on your part that's something that he mentions again and again and I think it's the key to this practice that resolve to do this I will never forget God I will never wander from the thought or the awareness that God is present to make that resolution you might have to make it over and over again you know but you just keep doing it that's the nature of Grace that's the nature of that wind that's always blowing it won't leave you behind any time you put that sail up the wind is blowing even if that sale has toppled several times you put it up again and the same wind is blowing so don't cease keep going because he says here that that if you have this awareness of the Divine it gives meaning to every moment it gives it gives depth to every moment it makes everything profound you know you can have the dullest job in the dullest accounting office at the most hideous ordinary cubicle in the world and if you are there in the presence of God you will know that you're not an accountant that you're a lover and you go to work not to crunch numbers but to love your neighbor so you're the one that people come to in the office because you're there to love you're there to serve you're there to care and so we remember that when we're in the presence of God because that's his attitude toward ourself and to always keep that in our mind that this resolution is at the center of our life I will walk every step of this life with God I will not take a single step alone it will not happen accustom yourself then by degrees thus to worship him to beg his grace to offer him your heart from time to time in the midst of your business so he's emphasizing this not in church you know not in your not that you don't do it then also but a church and a temple and a shrine and an image are not necessary for this the image of God is in the heart and to sit in the Shrine of the heart is where we meditate that's where we go and we can go there all the time let's say the ideal is to never leave there to sit in the middle of that peace to sit in the middle of the Stillness that unchanging part of you you know that unchanging part of you that has been there through every step of your life that that you the eye of the eye the eye that recognizes you even though your body has changed so much even though your mind is changing even in this moment that constant sense of me of I that's God that's the presence of God in you it doesn't move it doesn't change and what we have to do in our life is shift our Center of awareness from the changing to this unchanging notion now how does that happen What is the thing that changes all the time it's the mind and that's where we live it's the mind that keeps the idea of past it's mind that has the concept of future because in reality we've never experienced the past we've never experienced a future we only have experience now that's the only thing we've ever had the mind has taken that and stretched it into a timeline because that's the world of change the mind is constantly in change and we live in that change all the time we're sitting in that change we're enamored of that change we love that change and we get caught up in that change and so we suffer because we're going around the washing machine of life just won't churn churn churn churn spin spin turn turn around and around your job is to step out of mind and witness it see it but no it is not you that's not a hard thing to do it's not a philosophical thing to do it's understanding reality because it's what you do all the time you watch your mind your mind talks to you obviously you're not the mind if it's talking to you it's reflecting what spontaneously is happening here but that reflection is unnecessary live in the spontaneous side and don't don't calculate the moment don't calculate an action don't have your action be a reaction to what is have your action be a response to what is and the what is is your nature of love your nature of compassion your nature of beauty your nature of immortality learn to sit in that silent space that we've forgotten that we've ignored almost completely because we like the Flash and Glam of change so change your center of thought and move into that stability move into that silent space where everything is fine where everything is beautiful and perfect as it should be and respond to the world don't react to the world so accustom Yourself by degrees to worship him and beg his grace to offer him your heart from time to time in the midst of your business even every moment if you can do not always scrupulously confine yourself to certain rules all right if a Cananda had a wonderway wonderful way of dealing with that right he said you should break one rule every day to prevent ego right to prevent the idea of being a good person because being a good person is an ego identity being a religious person being close to God having any idea of yourself if you see an idea of yourself break it separate yourself from that because you can't be put in a box so stop being put in a box stop taking these momentary adjectives of Who You Are stop defining Yourself by that because they change constantly you know shave your head now you're bald you're not that person with beautiful hair anymore but you're still that person right put on a hideous pair of shoes you know walk backwards down the street just do things to remind you that you are infinite that you can't be defined that you're not this that or the other you're all of it and you're in your truth are living everyone's life all right because you are every person that which is you is the same that which is you and everyone it's not different there's one eye that's manifesting as all of us that's your nature that ability to empathize that ability to to to change identity right did we I don't know if this is more recent or not but I was fascinated by that idea in a dream I woke up from a dream many times but the idea that in a dream you know because we think about well if I lived another life how is it that I can't remember it that seems so unlikely how come I have no memory of my past life you know it doesn't seem reasonable you know how can I not be this body I mean this body is so close to me but in fact every night when you go in and you dream you become this new person in a dream who doesn't remember anything about the guy or woman laying in the bed sleeping you don't remember anything about your current life let alone your past life so you see how the mind is fully able to block out an entire life on the spot when you take this dream and not only that you've now taken a butterfly body in your dream you've just flown up onto a cliff without thinking anything weird about it at all you see it's your nature to be whatever you want to be it's your nature to identify with anything you want to identify with you can be instantly a butterfly and your body your mind won't argue with you at all it doesn't look at your dream look at the bodies you take up in your dreams you take on a new body you let go of your old life you let go of all of those old experiences and you become something new for a dream for a night it's no different in this life you are only incidentally what you think you are at this moment you've been many things even in this life you've been many things you know so don't don't get stuck in the rules in the definitions in the grind always keep that child in you playing keep that child in you imagining and loving and being free do not always scrupulously confine yourself to certain rules or particular forms of devotion but act with a general confidence in God that's that faith that confidence that God is with you that confidence that God is love that it can't be violated now that doesn't that of course we have to say don't take license let it be natural don't do rude things on God just just because you can you know don't don't abuse the relationship you know of course there's room for that too if you're angry you know or things aren't going your way it's fine it's fine to give God a good finger shaking every now and then but don't get confined don't get stuck with the general confidence in God with love and humility you may assure blank of my poor prayers and that I am their servant and particularly yours in our Lord a beautiful letter there that he's telling us wonderful things in there let us live and die with God yeah you know I did an exercise I don't know it was about a month ago it's a weird exercise I you might try it if you want to be weird but I later I I laid him I was laying in my bed and I was sort of falling asleep and I just had this thought like what if I tried to imagine myself at like 98 years old you know and that my body has come to the point where I can't get out of this bed and that this room you know my dorm room is good is my whole world you know that I can't which is not a far-fetched thought at all you know I watched Swami acetananda in San Francisco where he sat in an easy chair and that was his whole world that was everything he couldn't get out of it he got his food there you know everything lets your mind wander everything happened in that big chair and he was always content I would check in on him because that was my job as a brahmachar I was to check in to make sure that he was still fine and so I would walk by his room several times a day and just kind of glance in without bothering him and he was always sitting there with this sweet just kind of nondescript smile on his face he always had those watery red eyes of someone who's seen something beautiful and he was always kind of just like looking off and he wasn't unconscious he wasn't unaware he was fully focused on something that I couldn't see something that I didn't know but I marveled at the fact that this man had learned something that kept him in peace and kept him in a positive and beautiful state of mind when there was nothing there to do it for him you know and that's that was one of my first impressions of monasticism I was like that's why I'm gonna do this I want that ability to be wherever I am doing whatever I'm doing and to have that Holy Shrine just emanating that Bliss that Joy of life that Joy of being and so that that is what he's giving to us here that's what he's pointing to Force here so so I was laying in my bed thinking about this I'm only 57. I'm forgetting what I'm saying so I was laying in bed and I was trying to go through this exercise I was like okay you're 98 you can't get up you're never going to be able to get up again you're going to lay here in this bed until the body goes and I really tried to absorb that and I tried to ask myself very plainly is that okay can can you be okay here in this bed and never getting up again never seeing outside again until death comes and I sat there thinking about it and I thought well let me see can I find a place in myself right now that's acceptable that I enjoy being and that's the question for you every moment that's how we come to the presence of God that's how we come to the awareness of God because it's only with the awareness of God that a situation so dismal is that could be enjoyed could be Blissful could even be beautiful and not just beautiful but inspiring because unknowingly he inspired me doing nothing but sitting in an easy chair he inspired me and gave me a thought about the Divine that was deep and beautiful and that's what will happen to you in the presence of God if you learn to carry that Shrine within you and become aware of it all the time you can do the simplest thing and somebody will be inspired by it somebody will be lifted by it this is what it is to know the divine this is what it is to be what you are to understand the nature of life to become aware of Something You Forgot many many years ago and to give yourself that opportunity at every moment to be new to be fresh to be free to be pure to be lovely to be inspirational that's walking in the presence of God so we must do these things now I'm going to try something God I want to find a way to give you a anyway if you go to moncotronic on YouTube that's the the video channel I will do a video of this work kind of this week kind of outlining uh the ways that we can keep keep doing this uh together and uh like I said it well I'm going to do it next next Thursday night even if it's horrifically bizarre so next Thursday there will be a class and you can find that class at moncotronic on Yahoo on YouTube Sorry youtube.com okay under moncotronic and so the this class will go on and there's also a class on uh it's a Buddhist oriented class on uh Zen mind beginner's mind that's on Thursday mornings so that that will also continue There and then there's going to be Sunday lectures there also for the for a group in Colorado where I'm going so anybody who wants to be a part of those things is welcome to be a part of those things who knows let these things unfold but yes I'll be going I'll be going next next Wednesday so there uh Boulder or near Boulder little town called Lafayette oh really yeah yeah no we're going to do in the spring we're going to do a Meditation Retreat also so I'll I'll put those dates out for things it's true it wouldn't be hard to do that either my heart is killing me that going but anyway it's a new idea a new a new attempt and uh you know nothing changes right okay very good any questions comments concerns you should put something in the uh activity that you were facing uh it would be make it memorable I was reading something today I think his buddies but whatever I was supposed to like what we do here and it said always make something artistic in it keeps the Mind interested in here to go and it makes it work yes no that's absolutely right I mean God is obviously an artist you know very obviously beautiful and so we we are too and so we live that way you're killing me Alex Stop but uh no that's the point of life I mean it's God is all right constantly creating I mean every day is is a is a new you know well I mean you when kids happy you can say a new Sunset a new Sunrise there's a new flower there's a new rock sitting in just the right place there's a new fountain that you stumble on it's like God is always creating this beauty and I think that that's so much what that relationship with the Divine is is due to be in that constant state of freshness that constant state of of newness of beauty and to to make your life art you know make your life your painting make your life your sculpture make your life everything that you do the way that you do it give it that Flair give it that Special Touch of devotion that special uh you that divine nature the sunset that thing that you say put your eye on be aware of these things actually that is God everything is one in a sense yeah that's that's why they we always I I always try and figure out why is everything love or God is love everything love but when you see some of these things and you realize you're looking at God then you realize it opens it is love yeah it's yeah yeah everything is love and that's you know one of my it's one of one of the most difficult truths but one of my favorite truths that swamiji says that that um that love is the only motivating factor in the universe you know that that is a beautiful meditation because there's horrific things going on you know you think you you walk by that person that's homeless on the street and suffering terribly and you know in this is a totally non-politically correct example but here we go um you know high on drugs and it's like it's completely ruined life and we see the ruined life and we see the starving on the sidewalk we were like where is love in this how can God let this happen and yet it's that man's love for what his experience is with that drug that has brought all of the rest of this and so all of this suffering is love seen from the other side you know it's it's it's love seen from a different perspective but we all make choices and those choices are for what we love for what we desire for what we long for and if we're in ignorance not knowing who we are we do things that serve a body but don't serve a soul we do things that serve a mind but don't serve a soul and if we create a life that serves a body and serves a mind but doesn't serve us ourself this unchanging nature Within that life can become hideous that life can become full of pain can become full of suffering but that's the beauty of it you are new at every moment you can accept what you've done you can accept what you've seen you don't resist it you accept it and see it in full awareness and that is what renews us that's what changes us it's that presence that awareness that seeing that objectivity of the Divine of seeing it without a history and seeing it without a future but seeing it now as it is it's that ability that changes us that transforms us that brings us to Transcendence it's that presence of God which is exactly what that is that allows us to become what we are allows us to be the allows us to be our obituary you're free I you know I don't know what that means I'm not sure does that mean I should get under the desk here that's unexpected okay thank you surely yeah we are we are that's the point you know that we don't have to go any farther than that with the appreciations really for two reasons one is because I can't take it but the the other the other the other part of it too is that it it's it's not where the appreciation should go you know everything that I have has been from from swamiji Jesus Buddha you know all the things that I have laughs or that so don't make a mistake you know don't make a mistake thinking that it's a person