Video 78

The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna read by Swami Atmajnanananda (11/05/21)

[Music] [Music] foreign your words are like nectar bringing life to squirt souls they are praised by poets and removal sin they are auspicious to hear wonderful and exalted those who spread these words throughout the world are truly giving souls welcome everyone i i have a confession and an apology to make i i started from the wrong page last time we we have uh two sets of bookmarks here because we also read every morning yeah yeah and i made a big point about it being 1884 and midway and everything and we still haven't finished the chapter festival at banihati so we're going to go back to where we where i should have done it last week and then when we get to the part that i already did i'll just briefly go through that and we'll and we'll continue from there so now it's august 18th 1883 the very very short section page 272. august 18th 1883 uh i mentioned several times the festival that panichati contains several dates that are not on the day of the festival for some reason they when he uh compiled everything he put everything in this in this one chapter even though the festival was quite a bit earlier festival took place june 18th 1883 and now we're all all the way up to 18 on august 1883. of course this is the english version it may be different in the bengali yeah srirama krishna was at balaram bose's house in calcutta this was the house where taka went more than any other house they say that he had 100 different visits there to balaram boss's house so this was his main drawing room you can say in in the kolkata if you go there of course it's one of the centers of the order now it's a wonderful place the tremendous atmosphere there so many of the direct disciples stayed there holy mother stayed there swami turian swami brahmananda was very nervous about staying at during the malaria season very often he would stay there latum and i'd stayed there so many of them and when taka was there he would stay in the upstairs there's uh there's an open courtyard inside so there's an inside veranda not an outside veranda inside around you can look over and see the courtyard and that's where the the chariot festival where they would draw the chariot uh at the time of jatra and there which tucker did and that's still there and the room where tucker used to stay and where he would meet with the devotees is now the shrine room so it's a wonderful place so srama krishna was at balaram boasted house in calcutta he was explaining the mystery of divine incarnation to the devotees master in order to bring people spiritual knowledge an incarnation of god lives in the world in the company of deities cherishing an attitude of love for god now this is a little bit different from what we what we read in the gita where there's more emphasis on dharma the the reason for the avatar there is when there's too much of we're going the wrong direction and there has to be a correct correction made so in order to uh eliminate this this tendency towards a dharma and very often it means killing people in a war we have mahabharata that and then to bring back dharma because these ideas that we we we reach a high level and then slowly go down and some degeneration takes place and then there's a need for the uh god to come in human form in order to push everything back up and then it goes down down down down we have the same idea with the the four yogas that the satya yoga everything is good and then gradually it gets worse and worse and worse then we have to have dissolution and start all over again so on a small scale that's what happens with the avatar now the devotional schools and sram and krishna also they emphasize the fact that the avatar comes for presenting an ideal a devotional idea spiritual ideal we one of my favorite lines there that he descends it takes human form in order to spread it throughout the world he takes human birth in order to spread so not just devotion so knowledge devotion and peace prashanti the highest type of peace anyhow here taco is emphasizing this uh idea of cherishing an attitude of love for god so this is uh more within the the division of the tradition of having a relationship with god in a dualistic relationship and uh assuming a particular spiritual attitude and one of the problems so the tucker emphasizes this in order to bring spiritual knowledge an incarnation of god lives in the world and the company of devotees cherishing an attitude of love for god it is like going up and coming down the stairs after having once reached the roof in order to reach the roof other people should follow the path of devotion as long as they have not attained knowledge and become free of desire now this is also very interesting that there's so many times when tucker talks about getting to the roof and and who can come back down from the roof and how do we get there and now he's saying that see generally we think getting to the roof means higher stages of meditation and this nearly called the samadhi that's getting to the roof and not being able to come back down again but takur often talks about also talks about uh the through the path of devotion now through the path of devotion if one gets to the roof it may not be that same type of nirvikalpu samati that will be impossible to bring the mind back down from but it can still confer liberation and it can allow the devotee to go back and forth to come back down not back and forth so easily like takur did but at least they live in the world so sometimes we think that taqwa is telling us that will the ultimate goal of life is there's a god realization and an ordinary person can't come back from that it's not necessarily the case even the gyani the gyani doesn't necessarily have to have this this near be called the samadhi experience although there are differences of opinions on it but it seems when we read about the the descriptions of the yani that it's just a flash with eyes open and and uh nothing about they may see the world kind of disappearing before their eyes but still uh they're able to talk about it and so we have this idea of enlightenment enlightenment we're fully awakened is a buddhist idea they're fully awakened and as opposed to merging into brahmin to such an extent that there's there's no coming back down from it that that's not the only uh model that we have for god realization now surrounding krishna is saying for those who don't do that who don't follow the path of knowledge with his path of meditation that they should follow this path of devotion and for them they can go up and come back down it's very interesting how he puts it here let me read this again it is like going up and coming down the stairs after having once reached the roof in order to reach the roof other people so other people means those other than the avatar and eastward is uh resembles the avatar uh to a certain extent in that they're also nithya they're born perfect they're not born out of karma and they can come back from that state of samadhi but they come along with the avatar this is the idea that the companions the avatar is like the huge planet or something and then it will have the moons that go around it that will come along with it something like that so but this is other people so that means us that means devotees not that we can't follow the path of knowledge to a certain extent but he'll for those who do not have that intense renunciation and do not have the strong feeling that i am not this body and mind who look upon this world as kind of a passing dream they're qualified for the fit of knowledge and for taqwa that means pretty much uh only those who have not followed the or path he'll mention that here in order to reach the roof other people should follow the path of devotion as long as they have not attained knowledge and become free of desire so the the advantage of the devotee the devotee starts uh from uh the bottom of the of the ladder they they can deputy only has to be sincere there's no qualification it's not like they have to go through a long study and they have to have uh be filled with with renunciation and all of that they just have to be sincere longing for god realization or to lead a good life to lead a good spiritual type of life that's enough a certain amount of of course it has to be leading a moral ethical pure type of life but i is not not restricted to just all renouncing monks it's for everyone open to everyone no caste restriction of course no gender restrictions none of that the roof can be reached only when all desires are done away with so now he's talking about people who still have some desires he says as long as they have not attained my knowledge become free from desire so as we go up go higher and higher this the desire to reach the root becomes stronger the other desires start to melt away a little bit so we don't have to be free from desires in the beginning because we're human beings we have desires where everybody has them we're we're born with them we we and and taka doesn't he's not so strict with this idea of desires there are harmless desires but those that are really preventing us from having some type of a higher type of of longing for god those we have to gradually learn to control but taka's way is incred increase the good desire for god we constantly fight against these these lower desires and the mind is dwelling on them it's a little bit self-defeating so he says focus on the positive things the shopkeeper does not go to bed before finishing his accounts he goes to sleep only when his accounts are finished so we still have some desires left huh that means that it's not adding a parade that we we have before we can really go to go to sleep at night that means reach the roof we can't do that when we still have a balance of desires but the closer that we get and even if we think about say holy mother also holy mother they emphasize this idea that if we don't realize god now that we'll have that realization at the time of death that taku will come at the time of death and we think that unless we get rid of all of our desires now how can we get rid of them at the time of death what do you think anybody you can how yeah really when we know the death is around the corner when we get to the end well these desires won't be there anymore tucker says that you know this the day that you find out that a friend of yours died or something like that will you care for you know having a good meal and this and things like that so when we when we get close to the end uh automatically the mind will get drawn in if we've been leading a spiritual life to if we've been trying making some effort so at that very final moment where will there be this is a desire for worldly enjoyment when we know that death is right there waiting for us so we can understand that there's a big difference between final liberation and god realization here and now this is what the mother says that you want you want god realization here now you have to work very very hard otherwise eat a good spiritual life practice devotion surrender reliance on god all of this and at the very end that the fruits will come and that there won't be room for desire for worldly things at that at that stage so we can be hopeful that that will be our case to him a man will certainly succeed if he will take the plunge success is sure for such a man so takwa is not telling us he's not telling us that oh don't don't worry so much don't work so hard now you'll get liberation at the end he's not saying that he's emphasizing that we have to really try now but if with through all of our effort if we don't get that which is very very rare some some division of god or some samadhi some ecstasy if we don't get that that it's not hopeless that at the very end the point the bliss yeah that's why we're trying to do it now other otherwise we're simply it simply becomes like other religions that uh lead a good life die then go to heaven yeah no no we're trying to we have to feel there's a burden of maya now we have to feel there's a burden that he has a very nice quote that we're calling things by wrong names that we're living that we're in the state of ignorance the state of bondage that there's no real freedom we're bound by our passions our desires we have to feel we want to shake it off it has to be very strong but at the same time especially he'll talk about householders especially the family life there's a career all of that that has to be looked into that that's we can't just give those things up maybe at the very final stage of life we'll read with advice to ishaan isan was quite elderly at the time you know taku says he said look all the work that he's done is wonderful but time has come to give it up spend and spend your time he didn't realize the gold lying hidden within his heart so uh even in the householder life householder life is not throughout the life householder life is is only the second stage of life then there's a retired stage and then at the end of course not many people actually do that but to really take sannyas at the end of life so uh the household yeah this householder stage of life common art we have we have four stages of life and we have four uh aims of life the common art or the two that are connected with the god stage of life for the good husband for the householder one is one way is by fulfilling desires so in the beginning of married life that's not the time to start saying i don't want this other one that's the time we have some legitimate everything guided by dharma dharma it has to be adhan it can't be in conflict with the harmony so we we fulfill those desires and see through them we say either okay that was good i enjoyed that now i'm content i don't have to do that again or we say no i thought it would be a wonderful thing it's not such a wonderful thing so different so we experiment this is that time of life the householder stage of life to do that so that by the end that either these desires will have fallen off we realize they're not such a big deal it wasn't so wonderful that it gets entangled in the world or we say yes i'm glad that i did it it was a good experience for me and i don't need to do it again i'm finished with it so uh because there's a long range householder be between say the first beginning the householder stage of life and getting to the point ready to retire that means that career is done that whatever had to be done from the career point of view somebody can say yes i build up a good business i'm ready to turn it over to to the children i have some i've some satisfaction came from that that now i know they're provided for i don't have to worry about them and now i so that's not the feeling that one gets at the beginning of the married life that comes at the end right so there's a big gradation by the time we reach that end it should be that we've reached the end of enjoyment we hear this term all of the times very very important that it doesn't mean see if we simply say uh i won't allow myself any to fulfill any of these desires the longing for it stays huh this is the chapter two of gita is a very important point just denying ourselves things sometimes the desire gets greater increases so some things we fulfill and we observe how wonderful was it was it worth the price and then we can get rid of those things so one by one we do that during the householder stage of life so uh we and we learn we learn our lessons and so that at some point we learn that moderation is is a more uh satisfying type of life a simple life not throwing things off at this point moderation then we reach a point where at the end another body will be thrown off any day why be connected with anything then we reach the higher stages the vanaprastha stage or the sannyasa stage but for takor this this going slow isn't enough see the the householder devotees that he had were also equally special they weren't ordinary we look at this in balaram and the m and even getting nag i said there were so many of them that they were a very high caliber and say even m taco thought that here is a person perfectly qualified to be a seniati even that's why he wasn't very happy when he heard he was married with children in the beginning so he he wanted us to dive deep into our spiritual practice but at the same time uh fulfill our duties in the world that he didn't like it when some of these some of the householders they're one or two exceptions when they would want to renounce everything he said what do you mean you let other people feed your family you got married and had children and now you want to let somebody else take care of them you have duties and responsibilities you would tell them so at the same time both of these this is our karma yoga we fulfill all of our duties responsibilities at the same time we call on god with great sincerity we have to dive deep so take the punch he's saying success is sure so either either during this lifetime or or at the end success is sure well what do you think of the worship conducted by keshav shivanath and other brahmo leaders m they are satisfied as you say with describing the garden but they seldom speak of seeing the master of the garden describing the garden as the beginning and the end of their worship cockwood's relationship with the keshav and she if not in the other brahma leaders first of all it wasn't the same his relationship with the k-shab was quite different from his relationship with the others he had he and keisha had a very very loving close intimate and respectful relationship that keisha really [Music] almost looked upon him as a guru even though they didn't accept his guru idea and but had that type of uh reverence and and respect for him and takur uh just enjoyed his company and and and really and thought he said for someone to get so much respect and everything they have to have some spiritual power to them so his relationship with with him was different from all of the others now vijay krishna goswami takwa's relationship with him was also different because he saw that here someone feared for first of all this bhakti path the path of devotion and second of all the path of renunciation see bhakti and renunciation can go together also we we connect the path of gyana yoga and sanyasa and the householder life with the bhakti yoga but uh it can be the other way also he was a great devotee of god and yet it had that burning renunciation longing for god realization look at caitanya deva he is the highest example of bhakti yoga and sannyasa he was such a straight sanyasi that we can hardly imagine how he he would even banish them from the community with this younger haridas huh taking picture from the elderly widow when he when he was told not to mix with women and so he was so strict that way so uh this is this is really our misconception sometimes if we think that uh the if we're householders we have to follow the path of devotion and the gyani's gyani and sanyasa go together of course there are householder gyani's talk talk where talks about them but not in very glowing terms with always with a little footnote it's difficult for them to really do it but the path of devotion and the path of of renunciation can of course very easily go together so am replies they are satisfied as you say with describing the garden but they seldom speak of seeing the master of the garden describing the garden as the beginning and end of their worship tucker would sometimes ask them first of all he would go to their service he would go to kolkata on various times when they had these these annual semi-annual meetings and things and so we heard them speak many times and uh even in different homes they would have these these festivals and very often especially media he would say oh you're here let us just listen to you and say no no no follow your your your regular routine and schedule let me hear what you have to say and uh one time at least at dakshineshwar he said to kesham i want to hear you give a lecture so he spoke and tucker always said the same thing yeah but geisha boy do you talk so much about oh how wonderful is this universe you've created and everything so the same thing so and and it's it's quite the right point here of course he had heard talkers say that they are satisfied as you say was describing the garden but they seldom speak of seeing the master of the garden describing the garden as the beginning and end of their worship master you were right our only duty is to seek the master of the garden and speak to him the only purpose of life is to realize god now we're talking about going to the roof and coming back down well we've had so many discussions about this vignani state about seeing everything is a manifestation of god the other side of it that taqwar says especially for the devotee is that one sees god one talks to god in that state we don't know exactly uh i mean this goes beyond our ability to just logically conceive of these things but this was talker's experience of course now we've we've met her several times and we've seen how quickly he became devoted to srama krishna that now this will be second or third time maybe going to his home and we know that he'll die shortly after this he had an accident falling off of a horse and died but he was very fortunate for just a year maybe that tucker loved him so much went to his home many times he would go there very often and from right from work he would go and and to spend time there and so he became very devoted to sramakrishnan see there too there's this uh uh ishan and aadhar when we go through the gospel we think that takur [Music] maybe he doesn't have such a high opinion because he scolds them both a lot but because he loved them so much and then he knew that that his days are numbered and he's worried so much about getting a promotion a better job and everything so because he loved him so much and the same thing with it with the ishan he was a good generous person that he wanted to say okay stop you've given enough you've done enough of this the arbitration and the charitable works and everything because he also was coming to the end of his life so sure suramar krishna then went to arthur's house after dusk he sang and danced in uttar's drawing room m rakal and other devotees were present after the music he sat down still in an ecstatic mood he said to raqual this religious fervor is not like the rain in the rainy season which comes in torrents and goes in torrance there's a footnote that means referring to himself then it means when uh when taco when it says that he danced this is spontaneous there to get into some ecstatic mood in jest without thinking he'll just get up and be singing and dancing and everything just filled with ecstasy so this rain and the rainy season that you'll get a big flood and then it'll be gone so it's not like that this was a steady flow with him it is like an image of shiva that has not been set up by human hands but is a natural one that had sprung up as it were from the bowels of the earth there are two different types of shiva lingam the ones that are some polish stone or different types of materials and things and then some are just some big rock that you don't if you don't even see the bottom of it so say kid or not is like that and so that's considered natural and we don't see where it was formed and nobody put it there so the talker says it sprung up as it were from the bowels of the earth it seems to be like that the other day you left akshay and a temper this is rakha i pray to the divine mother to forgive you we've seen before talk we're talking about this that he he half purposely got him angry huh he said and unless there was this uh what is it called is it huh yeah it comes to a to a head boil comes to a head yeah you can't relieve the pressure from it and everything so he said there's a reason behind it i pray to the divine mother to forgive you the master was still in an abstracted mood and said to adam my son meditate on the deity whose name you chanted now we read i think earlier uh the topper gave him initiation wrote something understanding so these were not ordinary people any anyone who who received initiation from krishna be initiated by an avatar you can be an ordinary person oh here it is with these words he touched other's tongue with his finger and wrote something on it okay did the master thereby impart spirituality to aadhar these are rhetorical questions m knows very well that he did but he's just stating it this way this this was the way takwa did it this was his uh his main method of giving initiation that we don't know exactly the one one uh instance that i know of that is where he says that taka wrote something on his tongue and and uttered it also otherwise we don't even know if they knew what he wrote or what it was it probably isn't bid mantra or something i don't know these are all mysterious and i always found it very odd that even you ask our senior swamis and everything they also don't know you would think that somehow this would be the secret lore some someone would know the answers to these questions but it was a little mysterious it was directly imported imparting the shakti but how they practiced now he's telling him meditate on the deity whose name you chanted now we don't hear about other chanting anything here uh maybe during this this singing during the music or something and then touched his tongue with his finger and wrote something on it there's another odd thing how devotees would allow that is very huh to let somebody touch your tongue is this this is you can't even let somebody touch something that your tongue is touched if you eat something but but to let them touch they would also be in some mood and he would say stick out your tongue and he would write something on it they would accept it did he do it with swamiji [Music] he touched him on the chest we don't read about him writing anything on the tongue we don't know and uh taco gave so many instructions on meditation my my feeling is that he kept giving him different things he'll say now this morning you meditate on this and you repeat this and everything they were different the director cycles they didn't have to have the same thing the way we understand the initiation of meditation and mantra and all of that [Music] this is what i'm saying he didn't we don't even know if he didn't give mantra that way he didn't whisper it in the ear he would write something on the tongue this is all that we know we we read that he gave swamiji this rama mantra in kashipur but we don't take that really as his initiation and his issue today with uh that then that day he he started running around there he got so excited with everything he had some ecstatic you know experience through that uh but otherwise yeah i don't know what uh what they did as there's their spiritual practice in them swami ashok he simply had this vision of of swamiji and he felt that he was initiated and everything and we don't hear anything about receiving mantra in that dream or that experience and yet i've heard from other people that he would use this his mother so he would repeat something so yeah because in in our tradition these are very private things nobody talks about them this initiation experience what one receives at the time of initiation now it's more standardized but in those days it could be different from one person to the other holy mother used to give lots of different mantras so tucker knew all of them because he trained her he that was part of his training to a holy mother when he towards the end of his life when he told her you'll have to now take over for me and he explained which type of people well could take which type of mantra and she would ask what is your family tradition and give monthly according to that then at some point started giving taqwa's name i don't know when and how and if that was an option from the beginning we don't a lot of these things we don't know um yeah they would holy mother would ask and sometimes she would say yes my child and others that time she would say no that's not for you and sometimes they would have a dream and she would say repeat what you got in the dream and she would say yes other times she would say no change it a little bit this way or that something like that so it depended there's no one standard thing [Music] mother received mantra from this that was for the first time that she and lakshmi devi it come from i think chittagong somewhere in the east bengal and some shakta tradition and she received mantra from him the unusual thing did takur himself initiate the holy mother she was the divine mother of the universe to him we don't we don't know he certainly at the time of shorty puja he certainly awakened that divinity we don't want to say he he transferred his shakti to her because she is it shakti herself so somehow he awakened that divinity within her but i don't i don't remember reading anything about any initiation so device you remember anything [Music] don't know the details yeah of course we consider her his disciple that way but i don't know that there was any uh any time that uh the typical type of initiation with the mantra but he gave her all these different mantras to to do yeah why she had that other initiation with that other swami puna and the they don't know exactly [Music] no it would have been afterwards before that she was a young girl just in her village yeah yeah they claim his ashram is still there in chittagong we're near out just outside of i never followed up on it i think or my ship maybe uh pradeep knows about it okay this is a new chapter how did i start already no the master and m august 19th 1883. it was sunday the first day after the full moon srirama krishna was resting after his meal the midday offering had been made in the temples and the temple doors were closed yeah this is this is standard of course here uh everybody watches the food offering yeah they're the the either the curtain was drawn or people left at the time of the food of it in the early afternoon the master sat up on the small couch in his room and prostrated himself before him and sat on the floor the master was talking to him on the philosophy of vedanta what does that mean philosophy vedante yeah this is just the terminology i mentioned that before that talk where uh either is a purana or vedanta when he wanted to talk about dualistic devotional it was according to the piranhas it's just the terminology he used if he wanted to talk about this path of knowledge and a deuter vedanta he would say according to vedanta master to him self-knowledge is discussed in the ashtavakra now there's so many different little texts the vague two domini and other things like that this is the one that tucker knew best and he even had a copy in his room we know that he asked swamiji to read from it and everything and and a lot of his illustrations are from this that idea of the the dried leaf being blown in the wind from one of the verses there this idea that if you think that you're free you'll become free if you think you're bound to remain bound this is from so he liked it very much that book the non-dualists say soham that is i am the supreme self this is the view of the sannyasis of the vedantic school so now we're getting that this advaita vedanta and sannyasa that these two things will go together not that the householders can't follow this teaching but himself really emphasized that uh if we if we don't have this this strong feeling of renunciation that this is not the proper path that uh uh when i said that all we need to be a sincere is to follow the path of devotion is not enough in the past of knowledge we have to have this tremendous weight argue that has to be very strong this feeling of dispassion for the world so this is the view of the sannyasis of the vedantic school but this is not the right attitude for householders very rare when taco will be so strong about things usually will say everyone has different taste according to the temperament and taste and everything but there's a general statement that he sticks to and really this is this is the main teaching of our bhakti yoga in the gita chapter 12. the path of knowledge is okay but is much more difficult it's much more difficult to follow that path we combine them we don't discard the pit of knowledge we accept this idea of oneness but this is why i like that the expression of a dwight of adams but dwight the currents so this is the view of the sannyasis of the vedantic school but this is not the right attitude for householders who are conscious of doing everything themselves so the scent of i this uh this is one of the the markers as long as we feel that uh this identification with this lower ego ego sense then if we say i am he we're identifying this the mind and the body and the body complex and everything with the brahman it doesn't make sense we have to have some feeling that this real eye is brahman itself and to this with the lower self so that's the has to be there at the beginning path of devotion uh we go step by step by step the path of knowledge we begin with the final truth the distinction we begin uh by by saying that uh uh i'm one with brahman i'm not body mind sensitivity devotee can start out thinking yes i'm separate and god is separate but i'm want to realize god i want to reach god i want to love god gradually that everything is provisional each step then we leave the one behind next one leaves the one behind the path of knowledge we have to start at the roof we're sitting down there we have to say it's not like the lower bird who can gradually hop go higher higher and higher and higher the lower bird has to say i am that upper bird from the very beginning very difficult but this is not the right attitude for householders who are conscious of doing everything themselves that being so how can they declare i am that the actionless supreme self if i say i'm the action the supreme self then i used to say i'm actionless i don't do anything like it is we read in gita but how can we say that when we feel that we're doing everything it'll be hypocrisy right we pretend according to the nondualist the self is unattached good and now according to the nondual itself is unattached tucker accepts this is as absolutely true he'll talk about all of these things one thing to accept something is true another another thing to accept it is the proper path to follow because these final truths sometimes we have to go state by stage to reach them according to the non-dualist itself is unattached good and bad virtue and vice and the other pairs of opposites cannot in any way injure the self though they undoubtedly afflict those who have identified themselves with their bodies not just with their bodies body mind personality so if if you strike me will it hurt me it's a loaded question if i take that me to this about b the body mind says that of course it hurts me if i say i am the witness no then you've hurt the body and the mind experiences it but not you haven't done anything to me yeah but who can say that otherwise is it big talk smoke soils the wall certainly but it cannot in any way affect akasha space following the vedantis of this class krishnakishore used to say i am ka meaning akasha be a great devotee he could say that with some justification but it is not becoming for others to do so you remember what happened to krishna kishore the texuala came one day and he took away all his pots and pans and tacos saw me he said oh look what happened they took my pots and pans i couldn't pay my taxes and tucker left look at you you're always saying i am caught now you're worried about your pots and pans even then taku said that he could do it with some justification he says obviously not fully could do it but to feel that when it's a free soul is very good okay now i can feel that yes i'm an individual i don't have to say i'm one with the brumen i can feel i'm an individual but i can know that the real nature of the self is that i'm really not not bound unbound only when i identify with the mind the mind is bound by its passion into some scottish and everything but i can feel that i'm free just as the servant of god is is free that the hanuman could feel that freedom that comes from being a servant of god the freedom that comes from that to have that relationship to fully depend on on the divine mother i'm free from worry free from anxiety whatever happens happens i don't have to worry about anything like that they're not the same as saying yes i'm one with the infinite absolute reality but still we should understand that uh this bondage belongs to the mind this is why he liked that verse this is from ashtavakra tomita but to feel that one is a free soul is very good by constantly repeating i am free i am free and then verily becomes free on the other hand by constantly repeating i am bound i am bound he certainly becomes bound to worldliness through this identity false identification and desires and everything the fool who says only i am a sinner i am a sinner verily drowns himself in worldliness once you'd rather say i've chanted the name of god how can i be a sinner how can i be bound see swamiji we think swamiji was so bold and everything he got everything from taku yeah how swamiji emphasized this idea that never call you the worst possible sin is to call yourself a sinner that we have to have that that strength he got there from taku now well this would be a very interesting thing that we get see taco is talking about the highest ideal and everything to him you see i am very much depressed today what does that mean for talkwood to be different can he get depressed huh kumar can taco get depressed yeah of course he can feel a little sadness he has a mind he has a human mind if rama could weep for sita he's allowed to get a little depressed sometimes not for himself no this would be because of friday not for himself otherwise he's a blissful child of the divine mother but he feels bad for freedom you see i'm very much depressed today friday has written to me that he is very ill why should i feel dejected about it is it because of maya or daya okay now takura makes a big point about this that is amaya is it based on this false identification with ourselves with our near and dear ones our loved ones family members and everything that we have tremendous love and compassion for them but because of this attachment and and it blocks out our ability to to love and identify with people outside of our circle so he says that this uh maya is uh is a harmful thing but we don't cast it aside we expand it we expand it so then it becomes real dire real compassion love for everyone so uh the same love that we feel for our own family members and friends and everything we try to feel for everyone then it becomes so he's asking well is this a maya that means only because he's my nephew that i feel like this and uh so he'll tell the answer m doesn't know what to say of course is the talker asks these questions they have that are impossible to answer and could not find suitable words for reply and remain silent it was a good good technique to use just master do you know what maya is so now we'll go through this whole thing it is attachment to relatives parents brother and sister wife and children nephew and niece daya means love for all created beings now what is this my feeling about friday is it maya or daya but friday did so much for me he served me wholeheartedly and nursed me when i was ill because in the early days there was nobody else and we see he was constantly by his side we see the famous picture of him in samati with the brahmos and the harida holding him up and everything so he did so much service to him you can you imagine what type of service he had to do was completely unable to look after himself during his period of divine madness to bathe him and clean him and help feed him and everything he did so much for him he really did and then it went to his head and he thought he could control him and it just was spun out of control and ultimately tucker felt the divine mother had to make him leave that place so this uh mother babu's son had a small daughter and he took it into his head to worship her as a comadi and for brahman to worship a lower caste girl was considered something very inauspicious they got furious and they they asked him to leave that was the time when takur was also last to leave maybe by mistake and ether was bumped over his shoulder and started walking away and they ran him mature found out he said no no you make sure he comes back and he came back didn't mean anything to him but tucker felt that that was really the divine mother saying that now it's really time for him to to leave now he couldn't serve and he suffered very much afterwards a very sad type of life with poverty and selling goods on the street became a kind of hawker towards the end [Music] terrible the holy mother and and we wonder why did taco allow him to insult holy mother have her go back and everything and now we can understand how afraid takur was of him how we tormented him to such a point you'll see that he wanted to kill himself otherwise how could taqwa allow that we wonder about that but it just shows this uh how this relationship became so terrible and held his reader he was big and strong also and not very bro not very bright and not very much uh not very spiritual didn't have a very subtle type of intellect or anything but friday did so much for me he served me wholeheartedly and nursed me when i was ill but later he tormented me also the torment became so unbearable that once i was about to commit suicide by jumping into the ganges from the top of the embankment see this is the one who is practically weeping for but he did much to serve me now my mind will be at rest if he gets some money but whom shall i ask for it who likes to speak about such things to our rich visitors of course he's saying this out loud so that people will find out one of the most touching scenes in the entire gospel is when friday comes and he's waiting for him and taco goes to see him it's a little bit dark out and then follows a little bit of the distance and he falls at his feet and says how much he's suffering and he says why because i've lost your company and then how is the crop not very good this year and a very short visit and he says come back sometime people are waiting for me very touching scene it's sad sad scene this lila of the avatar has so many different aspects and elements to it that are very difficult to understand taco would say all of these things just thicken the plot they bring some extra interest to this divine play don't know why it happens that way in the end last time when she went to comarch and it was big scene created because was he it was it really i don't remember yeah he also he was very jealous he was very jealous of her and the brahmany was very jealous of holy mother that also was a case where such a beautiful relationship soured at the end and but she realized it also and then she went off to benares i think yeah that rita he wasn't completely wrong there that she she really became too uh possessive of takur and wanted to rule him a little bit at two or three o'clock in the afternoon after sin and balarama arrived see how there it keeps coming where are they oh they're in taco after saluting srama krishna they sat on the floor and asked him if he was well the master said yes i am well physically but a little troubled in mind he did not refer to fridoy and his troubles so really he only let m know and uh we don't know who else was there at the time huh and he knew that and wasn't a wealthy person even though ann was very very generous and did things very secretly secretly he gave money he gave money to holy mother after taco passed away he gave money to swamiji's mother and there's one letter that uh i think he says that uh how swamiji would have been furious if he found out and everything so he did these things without telling anybody and of course he was one of the ones who who gave money even though really he didn't earn a lot of money okay we can stop here this is a good place now we'll get to his visit to okay page 275 don't let me forget start it right page next time [Music] [Music] who is stainless of infinite nature whose heart melts in sympathy for his devotees who is an embodiment of the divine and the supreme lord and ever worthy of our worship peace peace happy diwali everybody okay thank you